Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Great Pyrenees

We have two very good friends who for the purposes of this post we will call Dee and Wayne, because, that's their names, Dee and Wayne.

Dee and Wayne are wonderful, kind, loving people who live in the boondocks of Falls County just outside of Waco. They love animals and are especially taken with dogs of all shapes and sizes. Several years ago someone dropped off a Great Pyrenees puppy close to their home and of course they had to take the beast into their home. This dog is huge with a massive head and bass bark that can rattle the shingles. He is solid white, or as white as a white dog can be in the country, with a thick coat that occasionally gets shaved, complements of Wayne. Dusty, as the dog is named, is very much like an ill-behaved adolescent, willful and pig-headed with a mind an instinct of his own.

Marty wrote this ode to Dusty just after he flunked out of obedience school. God bless Dusty and his parents.

Dee, Wayne and the Great Pyrenees
Chapter 1
“Dusty learns to read”

There once was a Great Pyrenees,
Who read books with considerable ease.
When he chewed up a cover,
He was cursed by his mother:
“Leave the damned thing alone, won’t you please!”

After listening to all Dee’s complaining,
Wayne signed up the dog for some training.
Dusty acted so badly,
They left rather sadly,
And said, “This is all really draining.”

After this, Wayne was really distressed,
That this dog had become such a pest!
But his mom, quite concerned,
Thought compassion he’d earned,
And suggested he might be depressed.

The dog found this all quite amusing.
Dee and Wayne just found him confusing.
He just wouldn’t learn.
And Dee said, rather stern,
“Behave now, there’s no more excusing.”

“We’ve given our money and time,
And Petsmart refunds not one dime.
Oh, what now shall we do,With this dog who must chew?
This is NOT just a victimless crime!”

Though thoroughly steeped in deep shame,
They said, “No one’s really to blame.
We’ve laid out this dough,
And so back we will go.
And this puppy behavior we’ll tame.”

So this great dog was put back in class.
He said “HI!” by passing some gas.
But then found things a bore,
And laid down on the floor,
And contentedly licked on his ass. mk 7/

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