My father and mother both had their 90th birthdays this year. They have been married over 65 years and every time I see them together, when they kiss, hold hands or just help each other up and down a step, I'm reminded of little acts of love that run together to make lives of love.
We need more of those, or at least we need to talk about
more of them.
It’s been several years, when Marty was recovering at St. Catherine's, but I clearly remember seeing an older gentleman
in the nursing home, he was on a constant vigil for his wife who had clearly
suffered a massive stroke. He was there
every day, morning, noon and night, staying right beside his wife.
It was an act of love.
A woman from our church who has adopted her special needs grandson
posted about their most recent travails at the hospital. She detailed the very real palatable fear and
pain and occasional joy of the young boy’s hospital stay. She was by her son’s side, all the time, every
day, for weeks, caring for him, advocating for him, laughing with him and crying
tears of fear and pain with him.
An act of love.
My wife, every now and then, as I’m standing beside her bed
preparing torture devices for her health care will occasionally reach out with
her right hand and grab my butt, tweak me just enough to get my attention or
cause me to jump. She does it and then
smiles, sometimes laughs. I ask her just what in the hell does she think she is
doing. She smiles, that old Marty smile,
the one that reminds me of her love for me.
An act of love.
Marty has an old classmate I have become acquainted with
through the miracle of social media (sometimes it’s a good thing). She has a special needs daughter that was
recently in the hospital for an extended period, apparently riding the knifes
edge of recovery or death. She stayed
with her daughter, night and day, for weeks on end. I’ve been there, it is misery, but she stayed
and eventually took her daughter home, knowing sooner or late they would
get to rinse and repeat.
An act of love.
When Marty had surgery for her first stroke, the hemorrhagic one, the one that almost, almost killed her, they removed part of her skull to make room for the swelling of
her brain. I wish I had a picture, but
back then I was too focused on Marty living to memorialize the recovery, but
visualize a woman recovering from brain surgery and she is missing the front
left part of her skull. There was a huge indention that was unsafe and weird
looking. It had to be fixed so she had one more surgery.
They took Marty in to surgery and when she emerged, she had
a brand-new prosthetic part of her head. She looked better and the part would
protect that lovely brain, but the
surgery, the anesthesia affected her cognitive functioning. We had worked so damn hard getting her
thinking back, her memory back, her id back from the first cerebral assault and
there we were, home again, but back to the first base of recovery again.
It was too much for me and I walked away from her as she lay
in our bed at our home, I was broken, and I didn’t want her to see. I went into the bathroom, sat on the edge of
the tub and cried, I cried real tears of anger, frustration and despair. As I sat there with my tears
and misery in walks Marty, slowly but deliberately and she sits beside me on
the tub and puts her arm around my shoulders, pulls me close and says, “It will
be okay.”
An act of love.
I'm not a scholar of the scriptures by anyone's standards, but I have one thing
kind of memorized from the Bible. It’s
where Jesus talks about some of the important stuff in all our lives. He talks about how we should treat each other,
he teaches about love, he says faith, hope and love are important but that
love, love is the greatest of these things, the greatest of commandments.
I get that, I see that almost every day. It’s hard sometimes, there are so many ways
to read and hear and see things these days and too much of what we read, hear
and see is untrue, hateful and harsh, the antithesis of that greatest commandment.
It’s there though, the stories are there, they are right in
front of us because love is what we all want, we all crave, we all need. It’s like the Beatles said….Love is all we
need…..just look for it…..and then share it so more of us get to see it.
