I hate to admit it but I'm one of those guys. I am one of those husbands; I was probably one of those sons. I'm one of those "Do you know where it is?" kinds of guys.
You women know the kind. The husband who wants something not right in front of him and before he looks says, "Honey, do you know where my xxx is?" You know that guy. That's me. I've always depended on the kindness of those around me to know where my xxxx is.
It always starts the same. Someone asks you to do something. You know, like get ready to go somewhere.
"Marty where’s that blue shirt I wore that last time?"
Marty, "Did you look in the closet?"
Me, "Oh, okay, good call."
Marty, "Why don't you look before you ask the next time?"
Me, "Sure I will."
Over the 30 some odd years (actually only the last four and the middle six were really odd) we have been married the same scenario has played out countless times. My brain just won't let me seek objects out until I have asked the same stupid question. Where is it?
For the most part I no longer ask Marty where stuff is. The stroke has changed the dynamic. Now I put most of our stuff up or sometimes I choose to simply hide it from myself. I know asking Marty won't really help. I ask the caregivers but they almost always snicker, sort of make fun of me and then just ignore me. I then set out on an epic quest to find my underwear or whatever else I have lost.
Prior to Noah's baptism my Mother asked me if we still had the infant ring she had given to Matt at his baptism. Yeah, right. This was before I was sort of in charge. I didn't have any sort of license to know anything about baby's jewelry. But, it was a good question and it really got me interested because I thought it would be great if Matt and Noah could have this ring at Noah’s baptism.
I poked around a bit. I asked Erin if she had any idea where it might be and found nothing. I finally decided to ask Marty and she said, "It's in my jewelry box, in a plastic bag." I looked and sure enough, in her jewelry box in a plastic bag along with some other baptismal keepsakes was the ring. Her power to recall stuff that occurred prior to the first stroke is really pretty amazing. You just have to get her focused.
I often long for the halcyon days of being just a guy who walked around a little clueless always asking their significant other where their stuff is. I'm still pretty clueless on a lot of days and sometimes, sometimes I can still count on my bride to know where I can find my stuff.