Ecstasy & Agony

When Matt, our oldest, was born, Marty sent out birth announcements with a little sketch of a baby and the words, “Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discourage of man.” A quote from a dude named Rabindranath Tagore, a Bengali artist.

I love this.

Well, it happened again, God gave the world another message, in fact God gave us a couple of messages. Our daughter Erin brought life, to not one, but two new baby girls.  They came roaring into the world January 10 at roughly 6:30p.m. 

It was, is, way cool.

I’m pretty sure Layla Bird is the oldest by about two minutes and then came Liza Lou.  They are healthy, hungry and home and despite the ensuing childhood illnesses befalling all those around them, they are eating, pooping, sleeping and growing, in short being infants.

The names, the middle names, are family names from my mother’s side.  My Mom is a Bettye Lou and her sister was Ebba Bird.  I really like the names, they go well with Lily Jewell and Lucy Jean.  They are Texas through and through and if they hang with me enough, they will talk like they are from west Texas, really, it’s quiet charming.

I was there on their birthday as a matter of serendipity.  We were at the lake and I had just texted Erin to say I was on my way to deliver some baby tools on loan from friends in Houston when she said it was good I was coming because she was on her way to labor and delivery.  Delivery occurred about 6 hours after my arrival.

I took Marty up to meet Layla and Liza the next day and she squirreled up enough courage to hold Liza.  Marty is always afraid she is not safe holding babies.  Not true mon Cheri, you are why these babies will always be safe, you showed us the way.

 

New children, new grandchildren are the perfect Ecstasy.

On Monday following that ecstasy Marty got sick, thus a little bit of agony.  We were at the lake when Marty clearly started spiraling down the “I’m gonna get sick” drain.  When she puked we knew it was time so we loaded ourselves and the dog in our vehicles and hot footed over to Providence in Waco.

This is one of those moments I had dreaded for a long time.  Marty getting sick that far away from our home hospital and having to make the decision to drive the hour and half to Waco or detour to Corsicana or Fairfield, both an hour closer.  I made the decision to get to Waco and so we rode, Marty tucked into the passenger seat of our van with her puke bucket and Nykkie, caregiver extraordinaire and the dog following in the truck.

As an aside and as a public service announcement, if you are planning an illness, wait for a few weeks because the hospitals are just nuts right now with flu and upper respiratory illnesses and there is coughing and hacking all over the waiting room, and that was just me and Marty.

It took about 3 hours for Marty to graduate from the lobby to an ER room.  Providence folks were smart though and had already drawn blood and done a chest x-ray so by the time we got back to the back we, they knew Marty was sick with and elevated white count (infection) and some cloudy areas on her chest x-ray.  We got to her room up stairs about 8 p.m., the first time we have been in the hospital since September of 2017. 

That’s awful for normal people, pretty good for those of us lined up in the health care aberration line.

 

That was a Monday, on Friday we made our way home.  Once home Marty got the obligatory shower and hair wash to rid herself of the hospital funk.  She was still a bit congested but free of any possibility of infection so home felt like, well home.

We spent the weekend doing regular stuff and on Tuesday following I drove to Dallas to see the new additions.  I had to see the two new messages from God, the two wonderful notions that God loves and shows us love and commands love.  I needed to see the antithesis of the week in the hospital, know that in spite of it all, it spite of the agony of brokenness, in spite of the anxiety of illness, in spite of the pain of watching illness, real ecstasy exists, real miracles occur.

PS….We went back to hospital two weeks later.

We're Meeting New People.....In the Hospital

So far we have met Shireen, Odessa and Katie.  Shireen is from Kenya, we met her in the emergency room, Odessa is not from Odessa and settled us into the room about 1 a.m., Katie is taking care of Marty in her room today.  We are lucky; these three nurses have been great.

Marty got sick last night, she did the body spasm thing and then, right after eating a marvelous dinner I had prepared, she threw up.  I don’t think it was a commentary on the pork tenderloin even though it was a bit dry.  It was, as proven by our ER visit, a systemic response to infection.

It was a surprise to all that we ended up in the ER that evening because we had just visited the good offices of Great and Wise to talk about a myriad of other niggling details.  Marty was sharp, clear, and responsive and at the doctor’s office.

After talking with Great and Wise I was flying solo in the late afternoon to give a couple of our ladies some much needed time away from us.  I kind of like being in the house alone with Marty, it gives us some time just to ourselves and keeps me really connected to all of the little idiosyncrasies of caring for Marty.  

I wish I could accurately describe Marty’s body’s actions when she does these spasm things.  It starts as a yawn and a stretch but is longer and more pronounced.  It is obviously different from a voluntary stretching of stiff muscles.  It almost always ends with a little moan from Marty and her upper torso contracting to the right.  

It’s all pretty subtle but when I see it I almost always start sweating from anxiety.  It’s actually a pretty amazing autonomic reaction on my part, Marty stretches uncontrollably, I sweat.

Dinner had been prepared but I knew, as subtle as it seemed, as much as I just wanted to blow it off and chalk it up to hyper vigilance we were going to make a trip to the ER, I started making plans.  Providence ER allows you to go on-line and set up an “appointment”.  What it really does is gives me some idea of how long we would wait to be seen.  I set up the appointment for 9 p.m.; the emergency room was clearly busy.

We ate supper and as I was cleaning the dishes, Marty still at the table started to heave a little, she was about to puke.  Now here is an amazing piece of rather gross information, I stood beside my bride as stuff came out her mouth, hands under her mouth catching the not digested food in a cloth all the while talking in a soothing voice, encouraging her not to hold back but let it go.  

This is completely contrary to my normal persona, in fact I’m feeling a little bit nauseated just writing about it, but for some mysterious reason that only loved ones and parents of puking little kids understand, how I felt about the vomiting process was not paramount in my mind. 

I immediately started planning a trip to the ER, not at 9 p.m. but right then.

As luck would have it the ER had received my request for an appointment and called and said I should bring Marty now.  I gathered the tools of our trade, the med list, the med history, the spare bag with hygiene essentials, my I pad and I pad charger.  With Marty loaded and locked in the van we got to the hospital about 6:50 and were in a room seeing a doctor and Shereen the Kenyan nurse by about 7:10, God bless Providence.

We made it up to a room on the third floor a little after midnight with the diagnosis of a mild pneumonia.  We met Odessa, the remarkably competent and caring floor nurse, she checked Marty out and in and I gave her my spiel and I left Marty in the competent hands of Odessa and her care giver La Shonda about 2 a.m...

We are still in the hospital hanging out watching Ellen and Jeopardy and CNN.  Marty has slept most of the day which is a good thing since she slept very little last night.  We have seen Great and Wise and will make some decisions about the length of stay after blood tests in the morning.

We don’t like being in the hospital, it really kind of bites.  All things considered we are here because we need to be and will do what we need to do to take our next step on our rather odd and winding journey.  

I never would have thought I could hold warm stomach fluids in my hand.  But it’s like a lot of things, you just do it without thinking because if you think about it too much it makes you kind of queasy.