A Ripple

t’s a ripple. Drop a rock in the water and the texture of the water changes, it moves in mini waves, pushing out to the world in ways you never really see.

You never know. You never really know the effect those ripples make as they go out and touch different people and places.

Marty and I were hard to miss. A big old guy with long messy hair pushing a woman in a wheelchair into a store, a restaurant, a doctor’s office or just walking going down the street; we stuck out everywhere we went and both of us became accustomed to being the anomaly.

I know we touched lives; I know I met people I would never have known before Marty had her strokes. We made big ripples just by being.

We had five or six caregivers who we would have never met. Each of them changed our lives, made us more aware, made us more understanding, made us more grateful for the people around us.

We changed them too. They saw us, they got to know us, they felt the grace my bride gave to all who came in her orbit.

Ripples

We met a server in TGIFridays who insisted she wait on us wherever we sat. We went once a week and ordered the same thing every time. The server liked seeing Marty, her caregiver, and me. She liked talking to us and hearing about how we were living life. It made her feel good, which always made me feel good.

There was the cashier at the Hollywood Jewell we would see every Wednesday. We went once a week, and she was there like clockwork giving discounted tickets and filling our concession stand order. It helps to be a regular. She got to see us living and developed and affection for us. Helping us made her feel good, I know it made me feel good.

Even the broken make ripples, maybe, especially the broken make ripples.

When Marty had to have major dental work, I talked a lot with their office manager and she treated us like royalty. She was so kind, and I think helping us, seeing us, knowing us made her feel good, that made me feel good. Our life, Marty’s courage, my love, our caregiver’s compassion touched her life.

Ripples we create.

I’ve told this story before, if you’ve heard just sit back and know I enjoy telling it. I tell it repeatedly because of the ripple I felt years ago.

Our oldest, back before the turn of the century, was hit in the leg with a discus at school. That wasn’t a problem, the ensuing infection was a huge problem. It was my first brush with my kid being very sick. I don’t imagine I managed it all very well, but Matt, Erin and I had Marty and she knew exactly how to handle the crises.

Matt was in the hospital a couple of times trying to tame the infection going through major surgery and a lot of antibiotics. My boy was bad sick, and we kept hitting wall after wall.

I was home one afternoon after spending time at the hospital and being told the stay would have to be longer than we thought. I was angry and totally depressed at the same time. Sherry Johnson, the true better half of Rev Jimmie and Sherry Johnson, called. We talked, I explained, and she said very simply, “You are loved.”  It was a seminal moment in my life, loved at the right time.

Ripples.

The point is, taking care of others, you get to see the love, you get to feel it and those ripples nourish body and soul. Those ripples make everything possible.